Finance For Kids Gifts

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'That's my boy...'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

'May I have a moment of your time? I'd like to tell you about a plan my bank has for your IRA...'

"How do you make any money?"

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

'It's our 10 year plan.'

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

'I'm thinking something a little more modest... say, whatever 1,000 slaves can do in 50 years.'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

'When you e-mailed that you wanted to invest your entire life savings, we thought you'd be older.'

'And if I agreed, what sort of means would we be living within?'

Credit card debt.

Baby buying shares

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'