Childhood Finance Enthusiast Gifts

'Seven. How old were you when you got your first credit card application in the mail?'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

Money Plant.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

Tempest in a Teapot

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'