Family Finance Enthusiast Gifts

'Our family budget is a system of checks and bounces.'

'I'm sorry, son, but I'm not in the bad debt business anymore.'

'It's not a bailout, dad. I just want an adavance on my allowance.'

'Kids are so advanced today. Only 12 years old and my Zooey has already maxed out her credit card.'

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

"The kids are at that age when they'd really like to know our net worth."

'Marriage is give and take...if he doesn't give you enough money, take it!'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

'I told him I couldn't keep him any longer and he lectured me on how to run my financial affairs!'

'...and to my wife who always nagged me to 'Put something aside for a rainy day'...'

'Women want equal pay for equal work, so a minimum allowance law for kids can't be far behind.'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Money Plant.

Tempest in a Teapot

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."