Family Finance Expert Gifts

'I think my allowance should include a cost of living increase.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

'That was supposed to be your stock without equals, and it looks like you were right--no equals, just lots of superiors.'

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

Absolutely No Credit

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Little Investment on the Praire

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"Yeah, you're the CFO of a global multinational, but to me you'll always be the First National Bank of Dad."

'It's our 10 year plan.'

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

'Not a good time to ask for more allowance. They're discussing the national debt.'

"No matter what one says, a safe remains a good way to keep your money safe."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

"Don't take that tone with me! I was simply asking where you plan on spending all this money!"

"Oh no - another mouth to feed!"

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

"I'm not interested in the 30 year bond, I won't live 210 years."

Bank of Mum and Dad.

'And if I agreed, what sort of means would we be living within?'

"Son, you're all grown up now. You owe me two hundred and fourteen thousand dollars."

Credit card debt.

"The kids are at that age when they'd really like to know our net worth."

$200,000 to raise a kid in America! Do you regret the expense? Of course not, sweetie! You're worth every cent. That's a relief. Because I need $20 for the movies!

"Is there the slightest chance of credit being eased by this weekend?"