Family Finance Guru Gifts

'I understand you're the person to see for pre-K funding.'

"Son, you're all grown up now. You owe me two hundred and fourteen thousand dollars."

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

Absolutely No Credit

'As if raising lots of kids was not hard enough financially: Now, they all want mobile phones...'

'I'm about to say my prayers, Dad. Do you want more pocket money too?'

3 kids with cell phones.

"I'd like you to meet my wife and other tax considerations."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

The economy.

E.U. Banking Union.

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

Wall Street Couch

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'