Financial Planning Enthusiast Gifts

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

"I'm worried we haven't gathered enough for our retirement."

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"Coping with retirement planning is increasingly complex..."

The World Will Not End Soon, So Adjust Your Portfolios Accordingly

'I'd say my client's position was more agitated than distressed.'

"Now that my last kid graduated I'm hoping to change my status from nonprofit."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

Money Plant.

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'