Financial Planning Hobbyists Gifts

"Kids and grand kids squared away forever ago. All set with money. No energy for a whole court thing. So-o-o... maybe you just die?" "Whatever makes you happy, sweet cheeks."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"It covers up all the debt."

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

The Bullish World

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Security/Savings

'I got that, Ms. Rafferty... now can we get on to student loans?'

Man with a Plan

'Your in great shape...'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

'Andy, this is Doug. Looks like we're going to have to dip into the reserves earlier than we expected.'

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

What's a CEO's motivation?

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'