Frugal Families Gifts

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

Expensive greeting cards.

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"C'mere, space heater."

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

How to save on your heating bill...

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

"Remember when all this was free?"

Things of the past...

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

"Our new double glazing has almost paid for itself - the kids can't hear the ice cream van anymore."

"Shortages, higher prices, closings...and they still throw away half their food."

The cost of smoking

'From living beyond our means, we've gone to living beyond our wildest expectations!'

With a cold, cold winter...how to lower your heating bill.

"I don't want to do something fun for free, I want to do something fun we pay for."

"This year, we just decided to give money to ourselves."

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

"Wait, save your money."

The cheap skate - 'Separate checks, please.'

"Fine. As long as it doesn't involve spending money."

"It's time to go home and put our parents into a panic over the upcoming back to school shopping season..."