Frugal Fathers Gifts

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"Dad, can you read?"

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."

"Dr. Jenkins was too cheap to buy a state-of-the-art EHR system so he bought this at a public library auction instead."

'As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me ?4000.'

Company Awards - "The innovation Award goes to Henderson for living within his salary."

'I'm not paying $200 per hour for therapy, so you must be the one who's nuts.'

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Loans - 'We were thinking of paying a gas bill.'

Very sad piggy bank

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

"Our new double glazing has almost paid for itself - the kids can't hear the ice cream van anymore."

"I resent having to pay for my parents 'baby boomer' pensions, pensions that I'll never be able to afford."

Old woman and bills

"Why are you typing your own letters?"

"Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?"

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce no-frills parenting.'

'Uncle, we need to up our prices, sand is getting scarce.'

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

"I don't believe you're a minimalist I think you're just mean."

"How come we never go out anymore and spend money we don't have?"

'Sure, I've profited from my mistakes, but it was all eaten up by taxes!'

"Lab Mice are okay, but we draw the line at imported brie."