Frugal Fred Gifts

Old woman and bills

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"I just..."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Smart card.

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"We're going to need more pets."

'How much did you save this year?'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

'I think we may have an income problem.'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

Gas prices up.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"You're home early. Was it your round?"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'