Fiscally Frugal Fellow Gifts

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I just..."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"We're going to need more pets."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'How much did you save this year?'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

'I think we may have an income problem.'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.