Frugal Scholar Gifts

"Well there's no way we could afford to buy this lot!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Smart card.

Fries and kids

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."