Frugal Scholar Gifts

"Well there's no way we could afford to buy this lot!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Smart card.

Fries and kids

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

"We merged to save through volume buying."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."