Frugal Scientist Gifts

"Lab Mice are okay, but we draw the line at imported brie."

"I'm a poor research scientist. I don't need another credit card."

"No, this isn't low temperature physics. He's just too cheap to turn on the heat."

Smart card.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"We merged to save through volume buying."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'It's the only way I can afford this place.'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."