Frugal Thinker Gifts

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

No Frills Psychiatrist.

Electricity prices

'I know you can't win them all, but just once I wish I could scrape together the entry fee!'

"He quit online counseling. This gives him the same sympathy, but cheaper."

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"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"What's for tea, love?. . . Beans on toast! We've got £2,376,931 in 't' bank and we're having beans on toast!"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

'We're still saving up for Bertram's funeral!'

Priorities

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"Money won't make you happy."

'Because oil is so expensive I've had to go back to using coal.'

'I can tell when we're in a recession - my allowance gets cut.'

'When you said money was short and you were having a 'staycation' I didn't think you meant at the office!'

J. Beebleman Pres. He's too cheap to have a real corporate retreat.

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Smart card.

Fries and kids

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'