Frugal Innovator Gifts

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"We need to revisit your transportation budget."

My cheapskate muse is dead. Great. I woke up yesterday and realized it's been months since I've had an idea for cheating the customers. Everything I'm coming up with is cliched: charging extra for toilet paper, 75 cents for a clean cup, one-for-the-price-of-two bagel specials. I can't take pride in ripping people off like that. One-for-the-price-of-two?

'Using my old pool to stock up om expensive gas was an excellent idea.'

Can't buy a car? Here are other options.

"Insulating the house was too expensive... so I just insulated Gerald instead."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Modern kite for wind energy.

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

Sea weed harvest.

Smart card.

"We didn’t have enough in the budget to replace you with a real robot."

Solar Plant

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

You will always find a spot to garden

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'I'm beginning to think outside the box again - get my GP quickly!'

'Styrofoam.'

Tree with Drain Pipe

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

"If you don't have weights at home, try using canned food or the psychological burden of simply existing in this world!"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'Yes, this is the most direct offsetting of carbon emissions I've seen.'

'With such a tight budget we never thought it would be possible to build our dream home.'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."