Frugal Guru Gifts

Smart card.

"We merged to save through volume buying."

"I could have bought the steaks you asked for...but then I remembered the kids will be starting college in only 7 or 8 years!"

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'...And then, my income and outgo collided!'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

The economy.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

E.U. Banking Union.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Wall Street Couch

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'