Money-saving Guru Gifts

"I am in a buying mood, but I still can't afford to buy anything."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The economy.

E.U. Banking Union.

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Wall Street Couch

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'It's our own consumer confidence test. Throw some nickels out and if they're picked up in 5 minutes confidence is really low!'

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.