Frugal Genius Gifts

"If this doesn't work I'll turn on the heat."

"So maybe the idea of using cheaper petrol to heat the house wasn't a great idea!"

"Travelling is too expensive, so we stay at home and make each other's life a living hell!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Smart card.

Fries and kids

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

"Could I have a bottle of the Chateau Lafitte '67 but filled with the wine from Tesco 2019."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

How to do without