Frugal Master Gifts

Company Awards - "The innovation Award goes to Henderson for living within his salary."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Smart card.

Fries and kids

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

How to do without

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

"They've worked out the can save money by sharing toilet reading material."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"We merged to save through volume buying."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."