Frugal Warrior Gifts

'Hear that? This calls for a major readjustment of your bank account.'

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Smart card.

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Fries and kids

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

For sale

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

Denmark: Begging is against the law!

America's Biggest Export...

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'