Financially Challenged Warrior Gifts

'I treat those who've had out-of-body-experiences---not out-of-money experiences!'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

For sale

You would have to work decades to make what many CEO's do in an hour.

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"We got the cactus account!"

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Breaking Through

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

America's Biggest Export...

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'