Financial Woe Warriors Gifts

"The sharp quills protect me from creditors."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

U of Debt

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

For sale

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

Energy Bills

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

Ace Loan Company is now Ace Borrowing Company.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"This was supposed to be the last session, but I think that I need to come abother couple of times to treat this sense of guilt for all the money I have wasted on you."

'If that aquarium is supposed to help me relax, it's not really working.'

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'

"It wouldn't kill you to pay your bill."