Financial Woes Warrior Gifts

"Just because I'm broke doesn't mean I should get a job."

Marvin began to realise that he may have taken out his student loan with the wrong people.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

Wanna talk about it?

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

You would have to work decades to make what many CEO's do in an hour.

Student Debt

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

For sale

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

"We got the cactus account!"

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

Breaking Through

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."