Recession Warrior Gifts

The Long Wait...

Ace Loan Company is now Ace Borrowing Company.

For sale

Layoff News.

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'It's a terrible time to be an Estate Agent.'

"I'll have what's left of my people contact what's left of your people."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"Here, we realized it was not some awful fever dream."

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

"I've accepted that I'm getting richer."

Student Debt

"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

'Am I glad to be back - austerity's gone mad out there!'

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

Denmark: Begging is against the law!

Breaking Through

America's Biggest Export...