Unemployment Warrior Gifts

"I've been at home in a fired capacity."

'I got a job honey. I was hired by a guy I met on the unemployment line, to distribute his resumes along with my own, when I go for job interviews.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

For sale

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

America's Biggest Export...

Social security.

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

'We could use a little sales magic.'

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

Equity Table Dance Club

'What's job security like around here? Well, I wouldn't bother taking off my hat or coat.'

'Watch out or they'll shove higher wages and better life down your throat!'

Ace Loan Company is now Ace Borrowing Company.

"Don't even bother asking for a raise. He'll just tell you to go to Hell."

Financial crisis and job layoffs

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

'Have you been reading the financial pages again?'

"I'll have what's left of my people contact what's left of your people."

'Very impressive. If we ever need an arm wrestler, we'll be sure to give you a call.'

Social Networking Sites for the Unemployed