Unemployment Warrior Gifts

"I've been at home in a fired capacity."

'I got a job honey. I was hired by a guy I met on the unemployment line, to distribute his resumes along with my own, when I go for job interviews.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

For sale

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

America's Biggest Export...

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

Social security.

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'You're overqualified... so you'll have to act stupid.!

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

"We seem to be the only animals here."

'What's job security like around here? Well, I wouldn't bother taking off my hat or coat.'

Equity Table Dance Club

'Watch out or they'll shove higher wages and better life down your throat!'

"Don't even bother asking for a raise. He'll just tell you to go to Hell."

Financial crisis and job layoffs

'Have you been reading the financial pages again?'

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

Ace Loan Company is now Ace Borrowing Company.

Social Services held back by risk, unrealistic targets and budget cuts.

"I'll have what's left of my people contact what's left of your people."

'Very impressive. If we ever need an arm wrestler, we'll be sure to give you a call.'