Unemployment Warriors Gifts

"I've been unemployed for twenty years and still haven't qualified for long service leave."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

Workaholics anonymous meeting.

'We can manage this is we work 24/7 and no one takes a holiday.'

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

"You've bust your hump."

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

'Enough is enough, John! You've got to choose. It's either your job or me.'

Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

'The good news is I've got a part-time job. The bad news is I started the day with a full-time job.'

'What's job security like around here? Well, I wouldn't bother taking off my hat or coat.'

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

Clearly, you've been burning the candle at both ends, Mr. Fusco. You have the wick of a man twice your age.

'Watch out or they'll shove higher wages and better life down your throat!'

"He's been working on that project non-stop."

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

"Behind every great man is an equally great woman starved for affection."

Financial crisis and job layoffs

"He retired at an executive, returned as a contractor, became a consultant and now he's a brooding presence."

"Don't even bother asking for a raise. He'll just tell you to go to Hell."

Work/Life Balance.

"Have you considered not going home at night? Just think of the travel savings.."

Social Networking Sites for the Unemployed