Job Search Warriors Gifts

'Anything for job hunting?'

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'Why yes, the resume is a very important basis for who we hire.'

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

We're so pleased with your twenty years work, we've decided to offer you a two year short term contract.

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

"Your resume shows you have had numerous jobs and in all of them you were rather invisible."

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'What are frills and luxuries, that you've earmarked as needs, doing on your application?'

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

'I wonder if I should add this to my resume.'

'Tread carefully...it's her extended unfair dismissal qualification period.'

'What's job security like around here? Well, I wouldn't bother taking off my hat or coat.'

"I didn't bring any references - I don't like dwelling on the past."

"I see you have a master's degree and have served 73 unpaid internships. Do you think you're ready for a salaried job?'

Financial crisis and job layoffs

"Oops! The padding just fell out of this résumé."

"I suppose we should be grateful that at least there's no chance of our jobs being outsourced!"

'Very impressive. If we ever need an arm wrestler, we'll be sure to give you a call.'

"Yes, we are accepting resumes. Just put yours in our resume pool."

'Sure, I'll hire you -- I could use a good tax loss this year.'

"I'm starting to worry about these motivational signs the boss is posting in my cubicle."

"Well I admire your forthrightness."

'Tell me again the name of the professional basketball team you played for.'

'I'm afraid we can't hire you because of your salary requirements. You require one.'

"Why do I want this job? Because I'm really tired of filling out employmemt application forms!!"

'I'm a little concerned that your hobbies include hunting, fishing and interviewing.'

"I'm sorry, but all candidates for our entry level positions must have experience."

'You can start Monday if I don't find someone better.'