Job Application Warriors Gifts

'Tell me again the name of the professional basketball team you played for.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

National Living Wage from April 1st.

Resume Dumpers

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'A word in my office Jones.'

Run, Mike, Run!

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'Of course, you realise my chief of staff has more power and influence than your chief of staff.'

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

'Mr. Barnes was going to interview you for the job, until he realized you were actually expecting financial compensation, benefits and vacation time.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Studio in December