Finance Worriers Gifts

'Every Night the same dream. I have to file for chapter 11, but can't afford the filing fee!'

The cost of living.

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Wanna talk about it?

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

I think I have a gilt complex.

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

Energy Bills

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'How can you sleep at night?'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

Credit Crunch.

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

'We can't afford to be middle class anymore.'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.