Finance Worriers Gifts

'Every Night the same dream. I have to file for chapter 11, but can't afford the filing fee!'

The cost of living.

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Wanna talk about it?

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

Energy Bills

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'How can you sleep at night?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

Credit Crunch.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

Room 101 Tax Inspection

"OK, I'll go to my room, but one day I'll get back at you by going to college and putting you into deep financial debt."