Thrifty Toy Shopper Gifts

Toys. Dolls. $28.95. Sir, you sell these baby dolls for $28.95?! Who knew having a kid could be so expensive!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"That'll be five bucks."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Rocking Horse

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

The Bargain Brand

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

Toy Store/Battery Store

"She wants to know if comes with a broadband package."

How much would you take off for cash?

Toys for Tots

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

'There's no room for water!'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

"I was hoping for something more Instagrammable."

"I hereby declare this planet for Oxymaxian territory"

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."