Thrifty Toy Shopper Gifts

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"That'll be five bucks."

Rocking Horse

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

The Bargain Brand

'Oh for heaven's sake, Jim... all he wants to do is perform a vasectomy on you.'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Toy Store/Battery Store

How much would you take off for cash?

"She wants to know if comes with a broadband package."

Toys for Tots

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

'There's no room for water!'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

'He has so much stuff, toys and gadgets so now we punish him by sending him to our room.'

'Morag darlin', they've made you look like a hundred dollars!'

"I was hoping for something more Instagrammable."

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."