Thrifty Theatergoer Gifts

Auditorium Seats. Orchestra $50.00. Mezzanine $35.00. Balcony $20.00. Programs $1.00. I'll sit on a program, please.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"Don't go in there!!"

'What can you get with a quarter?'

The Bargain Brand

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

How much would you take off for cash?

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Fleapit rebranded as Cinema Parasito

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

The Paunch & Judy Show

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'

"It’s great to be back in the theater again."

Toys. Dolls. $28.95. Sir, you sell these baby dolls for $28.95?! Who knew having a kid could be so expensive!

The 29p Shop

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

Pound sign being cut in half.

Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.

'Window shopping is not as much fun as it used to be.'

'Yes I like the dress dear, but don't they have it in a cheaper size?'

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

"You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a good time?"

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

Pound shop - 99p Land - 98p World.

'Can't be high-maintenance, but she must have class. Economy class.'

'They saw you coming.'

"Six ideas for $10 or $15 for a dozen."