Thrifty Theatrical Gifts

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Say it with flowers

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

How To Cut The Defense Budget

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"C'mere, space heater."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

'Don't spend it all at once.'