Thrifty Chef Gifts

Cheap Eats: Gruel and Gruel with Water

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

How much would you take off for cash?

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"Uh, Dad, I appreciate the 'walkin' around money,' but I need 'walkin' around New York City money.'"

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"How much if I pedal?"

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'Any annuity we can afford wouldn't pay the MILK BILL!'

"An ounce of prevention." "This way we don't need to raise as much."

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"

'Our financial adviser urges us to take a hiking vacation this summer.'