Finance Phobia Gifts

'Hi big bank. Still owe 8K on credit card. LOL.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Born to raise interest rates.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

Overdraft limit.

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'Giving you eternal life was a hard enough problem! Don't expect me to know how to save enough for it, too!'

'Wait a minute....!

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Kicking The Habit

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Sign on door of company cafeteria of financial services company says: 'Do not feed the bears'.

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'OF COURSE we're still lending! What do you need? Comb? Razor? Toothbrush?'

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

"But on the bright side, we're holding our own in a 12 trillion dollar economy!"