Finance Phobia Gifts

'Hi big bank. Still owe 8K on credit card. LOL.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Dog Nightmares

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Born to raise interest rates.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

'Giving you eternal life was a hard enough problem! Don't expect me to know how to save enough for it, too!'

'Wait a minute....!

Kicking The Habit

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'Inadvertently, Optometrist Niles Frobe triggers the Global Financial crisis' 'You have a bad case of eyestrain. I want you to keep your eyes off the ball for a few weeks!'

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

Sign on door of company cafeteria of financial services company says: 'Do not feed the bears'.

'Pep's finance' man confused and scared of 'Real estate', 'Gold' etc

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Fat Cat & Accountant - 'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'OF COURSE we're still lending! What do you need? Comb? Razor? Toothbrush?'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'The only way you can become a millionaire by investing in savings accounts, is to invest millions in savings accounts.'