Financial Fighters Gifts

Healthcare costs biting you in the rear.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

How many times do I have to tell you. . . you're broke! Broke! Broke!

Student Debt

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

Breaking Through

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Wall Street In Jail

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

Stress on GPs

Man with Sword in Penholder

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

'How to handle market stress' book being thrown through investments office window.

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'The side effects are headaches, sweating,nervousness, and a depressed bank account.'

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

"With me it's even worse. I'm still paying off loans from nursery school."

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

'Finally...some money for our 401K!'

"Would you like your paycheck sent directly to your mortgage holder, your oil company or your health insurance provider?"

"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."

"We can't afford to go on holiday, and we can't afford to stay at home either."

Bull and bear in boxing ring.