Corporate Worrier T-Shirts

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

I.T. Fear

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Nervous Oral Testing

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

Concern Chart

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"The boss complimented Bob today... but now he's afraid if he talks to him again he'll say something stupid and ruin it!"

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"All I did was ask it if we'll ever collect Social Security and Medicare."

Energy Bills

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Obama and the Dragon

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'