Math Worrier Gifts

I think Oog just invented math anxiety.

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

Things that go beep in the night.

"Well, I can't figure it out either. Do we know anyone that can help us with math homework?"

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Math isn't really my long suit, Mrs. Ferguson -- how about I just take a drug test?'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

The Circle.

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"Learning percentages has made me realize there's a 50% chance I'll flunk math."

Energy Bills

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."