Future Worrier Gifts

'One day this will all be yours son!'

'I'll have to borrow a little but more of your inheritance.'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

No Action Comics

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

The Circle.

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

Energy Bills

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'