Future Worrier Gifts

'One day this will all be yours son!'

'I'll have to borrow a little but more of your inheritance.'

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Things that go beep in the night.

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

I think I have a gilt complex.

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"I can't stop thinking about all those available parking spaces back on West Eighty-fifth Street."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

No Action Comics

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

The Circle.

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

Energy Bills

'Have you seen the financial pages?' - 'Yes, things are going to get a lot worse before the get worse.'

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

The End of Economic Stimulus is Near!

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

Credit Crunch.