Grade Worrier Gifts

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

"My dad's going to be upset about that "D" on my research paper. He worked all night on it."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

"I have a big test today. It counts for 50 percent of my entire grade! Or maybe it's 40 percent."

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

Energy Bills

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"I'm at that sweet spot in my career...right between 'young and underpaid' and 'old and too expensive.'"

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

"My take home pay must have gone to someone else's house."

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'Can I have a few minutes to defrag before I take the test?'