Academic Worriers Gifts

"At least you're not afraid to fail."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Examiners.

"Ted doesn't test well."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

Truth In Education

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

'Talk about being scared straight...I just found out that being held back a grade is not an urban myth.'

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."