Academic Anxiety Enthusiast Gifts

'Quick! Let's burn our O'level certificates before the children see them...'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Scarcity

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

Evil Exams!

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Six Thinking Hats

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

Max Weber

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

Study more to pass more tests.

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

'That's it?'

Emile Durkheim

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"A mouse! A mouse!"

"There are two kinds of students: perfectionists and procrastinators."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"Did we turn off the stove?"