Academic Anxiety Explorer Gifts

"It's only a dream. Go back to college."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Eternal Student.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Hell: The Airport"

Neurotics in the tropics

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

"You call that worrying?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"If you would like to get to know me I'm teaching a course on me next semester."

"Terri invited me over. We're going to play doctor of humane letters."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Clem needed three more bass for his Ph.D.

Tree growing

'Tell us, in layman's terms, what your breakthrough means.'

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

'It doesn't matter that your thesis is on extra sensory perception, you can't cite mindreading in your references.'