Audition Anxiety Explorer Gifts

Drummer auditions today 1:00-4:00

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Which part are you reading for?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

"Hell: The Airport"

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

Neurotics in the tropics

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

Casting Director

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

Ballet Audition. I think I've just witnessed the pollution of Swan Lake.

"You call that worrying?"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

'So, did I get the job?'

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

'Congratulations. All but one of you has been short listed.'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"Your answers sound rehearsed!"

"Now. Hear. This."

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''