Audition Anxiety Warriors Gifts

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

'They all want to play the star.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Evil Exams!

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Flu vaccine.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"Sorry, dude. . . but you just don't fit into our group!"

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

'You have a fauxbia.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"You're overqualified. Could you dumb it down a little?"

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Casting Director