Anxiety Aficionado Gifts

'Hello, and welcome to another edition of 'Alarming Statistics!' Our topic tonight is 67%. Is it over-hyped or a legitimate cause for concern? Join us as we find out!'

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

"This little beauty pairs well with panic-attacks and other anxiety-related disorders associated with 2020."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'I had that nightmare again, where I get eaten by a dog!'

"A mouse! A mouse!"

'So you get jumpy when anyone speaks to you!'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

The German Angst-Angst. . .

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

The End is Nigh

"Pencil eraser."

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"No, I'm scarier."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"I'm having recurrent dreams where I forget to prepare the exam."

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

The Scream take its temperature

'I'm a mongoose. I fight and kill cobras, and you ask me why I'm stressed?'

'Damned tourists.'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

I love Horror Films

People go out of their way to hurt me phobia: 'Believe me, Carpenter, when I fired you I didn't have the faintest idea it was your birthday.'

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

I feel happy