Anxiety Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Some scents are nonsense.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Agoraphobic Explorer

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Has the news finished yet?'

"A mouse! A mouse!"

Safe harbour

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

Room 101 Tax Inspection

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

Pre-minstrel Tension.

People go out of their way to hurt me phobia: 'Believe me, Carpenter, when I fired you I didn't have the faintest idea it was your birthday.'

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

Bubbie's parrot

Take The Guesswork Out Of Your Diagnoses!

'I had that nightmare again, where I get eaten by a dog!'

Want to go see "Ant-Man," little buddy? NO WAY!!! My whole life, I've had this recurring nightmare where I shrink and shrink and shrink

Danger