Anxiety Humor Fan Gifts

Long hair on the face and on the head phobia.

Eggoraphobia (Agoraphobia)

People go out of their way to hurt me phobia: 'Believe me, Carpenter, when I fired you I didn't have the faintest idea it was your birthday.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"I'll have coffee and he'll have decaff."

"Before we begin, would you like a prozac?"

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

Today I am trying to grow a bit of beard...

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Agoraphobic Explorer

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

Safe harbour

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

"A mouse! A mouse!"

'Has the news finished yet?'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

Room 101 Tax Inspection

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

'I'm shaking a bit!'

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

Pre-minstrel Tension.

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

'Your problem is that you're a Johnny Carson guy in a Jay Leno world.'

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

Bubbie's parrot

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."