Anxiety Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

Danger

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Some scents are nonsense.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

Agoraphobic Explorer

Safe harbour

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"A mouse! A mouse!"

'Has the news finished yet?'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

'And why do you think you developed this overwhelming fear of couches?'

Room 101 Tax Inspection

Why hamsters don't sleep at night.

"We look for people who can quickly adapt to changes in the workplace."

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

Pre-minstrel Tension.

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

People go out of their way to hurt me phobia: 'Believe me, Carpenter, when I fired you I didn't have the faintest idea it was your birthday.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

Bubbie's parrot

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

Take The Guesswork Out Of Your Diagnoses!

A man's head disappears into his torso, replaced by a sign that reads: Next Showing 1:00

Want to go see "Ant-Man," little buddy? NO WAY!!! My whole life, I've had this recurring nightmare where I shrink and shrink and shrink