Nervous Humor Fan Gifts

'I'm shaking a bit!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

Introducing...Anagraman.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'Check out the old dude.'

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

The Pencil and Sharpener

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

An Extraordinary Pointer

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"