Anxiety Aficionados Gifts

"If you use up all your worry today what will you have tomorrow?"

Birth of a worrier

'Could you leave the door open? I get claustrophobia.'

'Must you end every bedtiime story with 'and then they were blown up by terrorists'?!'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Pencil eraser."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"I'm sorry, I always fall to pieces at interviews."

"I'm having recurrent dreams where I forget to prepare the exam."

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"A mouse! A mouse!"

'Dinner for two, table for seven.'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

Cleaner in a museum getting scared by the exhibits.

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

"The feel of mud and weeds between my toes just really freaks me out."

The Scream take its temperature

Room 101 Tax Inspection

Psychiatry. It's funny. You're a germaphobe and the last patient on that couch has a phobia about soap!

'Damned tourists.'

'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'

'Hey, it's all right - we're ALL afraid of vacuum cleaners.'

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

"Well, the MRI confirms it: you have a shy bladder."

Suffering from awkward bastard syndrome...please help.

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.